Taking Responsibility For Everything
One of the biggest lessons that I feel has changed my life was when I first heard the term that “everything in my life is my responsibility.” I remember I heard Gary Vaynerchuck say it (the first time I had personally heard it said by anyone) in one of his videos and he even said that if it rains he blames himself. Which I believe is a very powerful statement and one that can change your life and everyone’s life for the better.
The idea of taking responsibility for everything that happens in your life, for good or bad, means that you are the reason for anything and everything that happens to you. This enables you to take control of everything and enables you to take action to control your own life.
If you blame anyone else for something then they are the one controlling the situation. The outcome is determined by the actions they take. When you do this you start to believe that your current life and circumstances aren’t your fault which creates a belief that you are powerless to take action to create change.
Taking responsibility for your actions and life is all about taking control of your life and the path you want to take. Even if you’re enjoying the path you're on but it was decided by someone else you are still living someone else’s life or choice. To be happy in life and find fulfilment you must be living your own life and walking your own path.
When people talk about taking responsibility they often interchange it with the phrase “blaming themselves for everything” in the same way. This has the same outcome however, in my experience, it can lead to more negative self-talk. You can blame yourself for a positive outcome but the word blame is more associated with negative emotions. Additionally, blame normally refers to an outcome rather than the actions leading up to the outcome. If you start to blame yourself for everything you can easily start to create a loop of negative self-talk. A more positive way to frame this concept is to take responsibility for your life and take the appropriate actions to get the results you want.
Even after something happens and you are at fault or a situation creates negative emotions, such as rage, jealousy, sadness, you are responsible for how you deal with those emotions and how you move forward. Say you cause offence to someone and they get angry and aggressive towards you. You have the choice of what you do next. You could react just as aggressively and hope they back down but potentially escalate the situation or do you apologise and explain it was an accident?
Taking responsibility for everything in your life takes a little bit of stoicism to do the right thing at the right time even when it seems hard. For example, if you take responsibility for your health you will choose to eat a healthy option for dinner instead of ordering a takeaway even if the latter seems like the tastier option. It may take more work to eat healthier but you make the right choice because you know you are responsible for the consequences of unhealthy eating and living.
When you take responsibility for everything in your life you will start to notice the things you do each day more and more as you start to appreciate that you are the one making the choices. If you’re the one making the choices you can choose to do whatever you want. Suddenly a whole world of opportunities becomes available to you and you can set yourself on a path to greatness and to self-mastery.
For anyone reading this thinking that they can’t control everything in their life then you need to look at it from a different angle. You can’t control the whole world or the actions of others. But you can control the way you live your life and the situations you put yourself in. Say you aren’t happy with the way someone acts, choose to not put yourself in a position where you have to interact with them. You could hate driving in traffic going to work, or you could leave earlier before traffic starts, get public transport, or get another job.
Some people would see this as avoiding life. But eliminating the negative things in life will make your life a lot more enjoyable, less stressful, and give you back time and energy for more purposeful things.
If you can’t eliminate negative interactions you can change the way you react to them. If something angers you it can’t be changed but you can choose how you then act moving forward. Do you lash out in anger yourself? Do you try to get back at that person, escalating the situation further? Or do you decide that it isn’t worth your time and energy and decide to move on with your day?
A good example for all of this is what Gary Vaynerchuck said and the example I used at the beginning of this article. If it rains you’re responsible for it. Now you can’t control whether it rains or not. But you can control the choice to check the weather before going out. You control whether or not you take an umbrella with you. You can control whether you get mad at the weather or embrace it for what it is and continue your day with a smile on your face.
As you go throughout your day and life choose to take responsibility for everything in your life, the actions you take and the outcomes they lead to. If you take responsibility for your health you become healthier. If you take responsibility for your finances you will become wealthier. If you take responsibility for your whole life you will become happier.
Start taking responsibility for your life and start walking your own path towards the life you want to have. Master this art and it will not just aid you in self-mastery but become a strong foundation in who you are and the reason for your success.